Recipe 4: Broccoli Casserole

March 25, 2011

Source: Mom’s Mom

Listening To: My mother try to convince my father that google maps told her to turn right when she was supposed to turn left, and failing.

“Mom, I can’t find the girl scout cookies in the freezer.”


Sometimes I forget the task at hand, and the task at hand this evening was cooking with my mother. Also in attendance at dinner was my father, grandmother, and auntie di. But I couldn’t find the thin mints, and dinner wasn’t ready, so I still thought it was a legitimate question.

Tonight I made the side for this family dinner, a very easy broccoli casserole. I heated some broccoli and cooked up some rice. The rice made me nervous because it wasn’t soaking the water, and I was all like: seriously, rice? You’re not gonna let me accomplish the easiest part of this meal? And the rice was all like: Give me a minute, giiiiirl. And that’s all it needed.

Then I had to chop some onions. I never used to chop onions, but I’ve done it twice this week, and I’m immune to its defenses. I have friends who wear onion goggles when they cut onions. No, not goggles with onions as lenses. They are goggles specifically designed to save you from onion tears. I, on the other hand, stare the onion right in the face and say: you will not make me cry. I make them cry.

But apparently I don’t know how to chop onions.

Me: Do I peel this dark layer off?

Mom: [Utterly shocked face] Please ask your grandmother what you just asked me.

Me: No, I don’t think I will. So should I?

Mom: I really did fail you as a parent.

I DID end up peeling the layer off.I placed the chopped onion and celery in the frying pan to sautee, adding mushroom soup, cheese and milk to make the flavor for the rice and broccoli. I stuck it in the oven for thirty minutes, and tuned into my father and grandmother’s conversation:

Grandma: What president was it that didn’t like broccoli?

Dad: Wait, what?

Grandma: There was some president who just really didn’t like broccoli.

Dad: I don’t know.

Grandma: Was it Bush Sr?

Dad: Yea. Or maybe Bush Jr.  Or I think maybe it was him who couldn’t spell broccoli.

Before we ate our food, we said grace after my aunt and mother both chimed in saying: we’re going to need it. Jinx. Rude. But the broccoli casserole was a success, and everyone but my father went in for seconds. Mind you, my father came home and asked:

What are you making?

Me: Broccoli casserole. Cheese and mushroom soup and celery and…

Dad: Oh good. All of my favorite things.

Sarcasm is in my genes. And my jeans. My legs are pretty itchy.

Lessons learned:

1. Broccoli is spelled with two c’s, not two l’s.

2. When you make things like a casseroles, and especially when sauteeing is at hand, it is okay to use the leaves on the celery.

3. Casseroles are hilarious.

4. My family is not very good at remembering what president eats what vegetables.

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3 Responses to “Recipe 4: Broccoli Casserole”

  1. Sean Coder Says:

    That celery looks particularly good! I want a picture of the main cook next time.

  2. Anna Says:

    Bahaha. I love casseroles! And I can hear all these conversations happening on good old Bopp. Hilarious. Can you send me some frozen Thin Mints? In a special frozen envelope? I bet they make them.

  3. Kristen Says:

    I spit out my cereal when i imagined actual onion goggles. I LOVE THIS BLOG, MAL!

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